Birthday girl is 30 something today, so I decided I would make my own presents this year.  Unsurprisingly, this turned out to be a bit harder than envisioned.

The reason I’m always inclined to self-made presents, crayon painted birthday cards, and homemade pies is not only because I’m cheap, but because it takes a lot more effort to make something, than it does to go online and click “buy now”.

Ancient Japanese legend promises that anyone who folds a thousand origami cranes will be granted a wish such as long life, or an eternal marriage.  There is even a wedding tradition among the truly bored known as sembazuru, where a couple will fold 1000 origami cranes in order to be granted a happy and prosperous marriage.  It is thought that the time and energy put into folding a thousand orgami cranes symbolizes the patience and trust necessary to sustain a happy marriage.

My goal today was to learn how to fold the paper creatures, and give Yanory a 100 of them.  Throughout the next 10 years I could give her 100 cranes at either birthdays or anniversaries, and I’d be up to 1000 cranes in no time.  Yeah, well… easier said than done.

I started my day at 6am, shortly after Yanory left for work.  Papers in hand, and the determination of a young samurai, I typed y-o-u-t-u-b-e-.-c-o-m.

What the frik?  How do they get from step 3 all the way to a flapping paper crane is beyond me.  I looked for step by step instructions… same thing: the easy steps are shown and you’re somehow supposed to divine how to get from a folded square to a flying bird.

After 2 reams of papers, Aldy-scissor-hands was up to a mildly decapitated and mostly unrecognizable crane.  I was beginning to panic.  No amount of “tailoring” with actual scissors could make my cranes looked like the cranes from the small handed Japanese anime instructors on-line.  Luckily, after about 3 hours, I managed to make a recognizable crane that could actually flap its wings like the instructor’s.  Quickly, I pulled out the stop watch and folded 3 more.  Average time per crane?  5 minutes.

Now, you don’t have to be a math geek to realize that to finish 100 cranes, I would fold the remaining cranes in 480 minutes (8 hours).  And that’s assuming I make no mistakes, don’t get any paper cuts, and Yanory doesn’t come home commonly early (did I mention anesthesia was the residency to get into?).  Realizing this is an impossible task, I am hoping she’ll be impressed with 4 beautiful origami cranes, a long blog entry in her honor, and a mountain bike ride through trails this afternoon.

Meanwhile… I’m heading out to the super market to buy ingredients to bake a key lime pie from scratch.  Provided no distractions, I’m sure I can pull this off with no scorching before she gets home!

Here’s to a thousand more years with the same beautiful wife.