I have a pet peeve with bad customer service. It irks me like nothing else, particularly in the past few years, when it’s become increasingly obvious that the majority of us will be replaced by robots. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against robots. For that matter, I welcome our new overlords, if for nothing else than because they’ll be able to retroactively read all that’s been written about them (ahem, my blog). So I’m careful to say only kind things about them, lest I be targeted as a non-believer. Believe me, you never want to be on the wrong side of an Inquisition.

Continue reading Stop helping the robots take your jobs. →

I have an uneasy relationship with cops: in any language, in any country. It’s not a secret, I’ve written about it before. I’ve never had any serious altercations with the law, but asymmetrical power relationships make me feel uncomfortable, especially when only one party has a gun.  Heck, even when my sister was a cop, I felt uneasy around her.  I remember showing up unannounced to my parents’, and on the way home I saw her patrol car parked on the side of the road.  I parked and waved at her from afar, all Forrest Gump like.  All I got in return was a very loud “sir, get back in your car, right now”.  So yes, it’s all very annoying that regardless of the country, the po-po find their way into my life.

Continue reading The world’s worst kidnapping →

I’m woken up by loud screams and knocking at 7am, and I instinctively sit up. You see, there are three things that will always awake you from any slumber: loud screams, a gun click, and the guttural reflex of a dog about to throw up. Really, they should make alarm clocks that sound like any of these. Guaranteed to get you out of bed in 2 seconds flat!

Continue reading Misogyny, guns, and vomit. →

It wasn’t part of a grand plan.  I didn’t do it to make a point.  I didn’t do it cause I couldn’t afford more pants.  It just happened; and I found out my life was not only simpler, but happier.

I’ve always enjoyed traveling with a backpack, but usually upon return, life would creep back to normal.  However, the last 6 years have been a bit different.  When I got divorced, which seems like ages ago now, I drove away from my previous life with an RV, two bikes, a laptop, and a closet full of clothes.  I left everything else behind.  I don’t know if I didn’t need them, or if I was in such a mess that I couldn’t think straight.  The thing is, after approximately 24 hours, I felt a big sigh of relief, not because of relationships lost, but because of things lost.  I felt liberated.  Life had become childlike simple again.

Continue reading The accidental minimalist →

One hundred years ago my great-grandpa boarded a ship from Puerto Rico to Cuba to start a better life.  The Spanish-American war had ended, and the Americans that came to “liberate” us, had left the local economy in uhmmmm a challenging  state.  En route to Cuba, someone on the ship convinced him that going to Dominican Republic would be a better option, since non-blacks were the ruling class.  So, on the eve of the first world war, with no marketable skills except being white (or “not as dark” in his case), my great grandpa moved to Dominican Republic.  Initially as a ditch digger, but shortly after as an entrepreneur, drug dealer, and land owner.   My family recounts a slightly different version, but that’s the general gist.

Continue reading How to become a decent computer programmer through armed robbery →