Growing up, my mom once told me, “you have been really lucky to have such good friends”.  I would have to agree with her.  From Puerto Rico, to Michigan, to Australia, to a few other places in between, I’ve been blessed to have been surrounded by people that not only make my life better, but make the life of those around them better.

As a kid, I had Lemir, who I was blessed to have as a best friend from age 6 (I think he was 3) until the day he drew his last breath.  In middle school, Roy and I were two peas in a pod, and I’m proud to say we still call each other every day.  We routinely joke that we will eventually retire in a big house with two rooms on each side of it, along with two very unhappy wives that have been dragged into this life long partnership.  In Michigan, I spent most of my time with Dewey and then Robert at the computing center.  Back in Puerto Rico as an adult, I bought a house next to Robinson, to make sure we’d grow old together.  When I bought my first house, I made a basement apartment for Mirialis to make sure she would never be far away.  I’ve even gotten friends purely by chance: I once rented out a room in my house to Mar, who then became one of my best friends ever.  Then there’s Reinaldo and Flora, who’ve been my constant voice of reason through thick and thin: soul mates, if I could just spend more time with them.

The list goes on and on and on.  There’s been Loren, Grant, Monte, and Alvin, as well as Oscar, Aramis, DiMarcos, and Hadji.  There’s been Tato and Nuni, and Alejo who’s too far away.  I’m sure I’ve missed some, and I’ll have to edit this post as the weeks go by.  To say the least, I’ve been blessed.  I think the gods have seen fit to surround me with the best friends I could wish for, because I’m shit at navigating life on my own.  I’m so bad, that I have even been given the world’s best dog: Velo, who I can’t even claim I trained him to be so.  He came out of the womb that way.  He even potty trained himself.  I’ve had him for 10 years, and I don’t remember ever (even as a 4 week old puppy) cleaning up after him.  Anyways, I need all the help I can get, because I’m liable to fuck things up when left alone.

This has got me thinking.  Am I really that lucky, or am I just a magnet for wonderful people?  Somehow I doubt either one are true.  What I do think, is that I have a low tolerance for charades.  I hate being someone I’m not.  I hate playing the part.  This gets me some enemies, I’m sure.  But unconsciously, I like to surround myself by people that are OK with me as I am– no veils, no masks.  I’m not saying that I never compromise, but that by and large, I’d rather find those that are already mostly in tune with who I am, and with whom I enjoy being around– instead of trying to adapt others to myself.

In Nepal, the idea to chose to do what truly made me happy deeply ingrained itself.  I was on this trip because it was important to me, not anybody else, and I could be just that– me.  Interestingly enough, at 16,000 feet, I ran into the cheery folks in the above picture.  Being accustomed to living in small towns (Berrien Springs, Mayaguez, Angwin, McAllen), I never run into people from my neck of the woods, especially when I’m far from the yellow brick road.  But in Gokyo, Nepal, I ran into folks that were not only from Napa Valley (where my parents live), but from their little town of Angwin (population 3,000 and I’m sure that number is very inflated).  For that matter, Peter lives on my parents’ street.  I’ve been coming in and out of Angwin for 20 years, and yet the odds of running into them on any particular day are close to zero, but ironically they’re much higher when we’re all doing what is important to us.

Pursue what truly inspires you, and like minded people will follow.  Don’t waste time with those that you have to change to fit into your world.  Don’t waste time with those with which you have to change to fit into their world.  There are many great people with which you fit in, just the way you are.

Here’s to friends!

p.s. And if you’re a middle aged German who likes the outdoors, the place to find your soul mate is trekking through Nepal (Speedos and cigarettes are not optional).  Just saying…